Friday, May 14, 2010


Ben (Russell Tovey) speaking to Rob Brydon stuck suspended on a climbing frame in Annually Retentive…

Ben: Close your eyes. You’re up on a mountain, okay. You’re stuck there, it’s cold and howlin’ with wind and it's really cold and you’re thinking, ‘Oh I’m never gonna get out alive, no one’s gonna find me’. And from the distance you can see this big, furry creature and you’re like ‘What the hell is that?’As it bounds closer towards you, you realize it’s a St. Bernard. And you’re like, ‘I recognize that St. Bernard, that’s Ben the St. Bernard! And I’m like, ‘Woof, woof, woof, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob’, and you’re like, ‘Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben!’ And I come over to you and I’ve got a big canister of whiskey around my neck and I lean down towards you and I pop the cork out of the canister of whiskey and you put your mouth to it and you open your mouth really wide and I just pop it in there. I just drop a couple of drops of whiskey in your mouth and you’re all kind of…you know, you’re all kind of happy and you’re warm for a little while. And I just lick your face really gently. I’m just licking you all over your face really gently while you’re there. And you just close your eyes and when you wake up, you’re at home because the rescue guys come and got ya. And you didn’t even realize because you were so content with me.


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